Defeat or Victory? What's in a year??

Whew!  We made it.  Another year is over.  I'd love to say this year has been all roses and chocolate but it hasn't.  This year has been a tough one in many ways for me.  As I looked back over it, I found myself going YIKES!  Someone stopped me at church a month ago and asked if I was o.k.  They said I just wasn't my usual bubbly self.  I had to admit it was true.  This last year has definitely altered me.  Without getting into details that are not necessary, let's just say my spirit was broken this last year.  Sounds kind of defeating huh!  But don't stop reading, because it get's better.

 

You see, God has told me that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.  I have clung to that promise this year.  I have trusted God to hold me by the hand and lead me when it was so dark I couldn't see the step in front of me.  I have leaned on Him to be the strength I needed to get from moment to moment.

 

You've read in my blogs before how life is a process and I haven't quite arrived yet.  Well this year I just wanted to tuck my tail between my legs and turn and run for the hills.  I didn't want to grow.  It hurt too much at times.  I didn't want to be refined because the fire was very very hot this year.  For the first time in my life, I didn't want to open my heart to anyone or anything else because the sorrow of being beat down emotionally was really taking its toll.

 

However, God tells me that there is a season for everything.  It's not all supposed to be roses and chocolate all the time.  I'll tell ya though, this season has definitely made His goodness so much sweeter.  Relying on him to see the sunrise each morning and be grateful for whatever He chooses for me that day has given me such renewed perspective.  I had to laugh when it was the comment of one of my patients that reminded me how the beauty around us can be blinding if we just stop for a moment and take it all in.

 

 

I had the privilege of hearing some amazing guest pastors in the month of December and they were God's whispering to my soul each week.  On one particular week, I was reminded that we have the power to choose what we remember.  We either remember the hurt and the defeating moments or we dwell on the miracles and victories and the moments when God showed himself completely faithful!

 

I've had moments and emotions that cover the gamet of this last year from both extremes.  But in the end I consider 2012 a complete victory.

 

This year began with the privilege of finishing out a 17 month stint volunteering with the youth at our church.  What amazing young people.  If any of you are reading this, please know that God used all of you to fill Greg and my lives with such joy!  You are all amazing and we know that God is going to continue to mold and shape you into the masterpieces He intends for you to be.  We continually pray for you!

 

Greg continues to be the ROCK STAR husband and dad that he is!  I am constantly in awe of his small acts of love.  He is always picking up the slack and this year we have grown closer than ever as we have sought God's face and direction during difficult times.

 

 

My amazing children continue to light up my life.  They are growing by leaps and bounds and getting very smart.  They challenge me daily and get about a third of the credit for these sneaky silver highlights that seem to be appearing on my head!

 

 

PLU has continued to rock my world as well! Nursing remains a passion and each semester I am humbled by the responsibility and privilege of taking care of others.  It gets the other 2/3 of the credit for those silver highlights!!

 

We all have our stuff that filled this last year and challenged us greatly.  But, God is good.  While there were moments to mourn over or be discouraged by, hopefully, there is much more to celebrate.  What will you remember?  What will you take with you into 2013?  I pray that as you look back over the last year, God overwhelms your heart with his handprint all over your life.

 

Happy New Year and may the peace of God be an umbrella over you this year.

36 and Counting!!

Yep!  It's true.  Today is my 36th birthday.  I was talking with a friend a couple of nights ago about how we are the middle aged adults now.  Some people find this hard to accept.  I embrace it.  Although I'm not a huge fan of wrinkles or the fact that I have to work much harder to stay in some kind of physical shape, I am so thankful for the 36 years I've had so far.  I still love to laugh and have a good time, being a nurse is getting closer and closer to becoming a reality, and I have to thank Greg for continuing to be such an amazing example of peace and strength for me.

So what do you want when you are 36??  Well, I want to be with my husband and kids.  I want to enjoy the kids' excitement about going with grandma to buy me a $5 gift with their own money.  I want a vitamix because I know I need more fruits and veggies in my diet.  I want to lose those stinkin' 10 pounds that just will NOT come off no matter what I do.

But more than those things, I want to continue to grow up.  I want to find more grace and mercy in my attitudes toward others.  I want to emulate peace and comfort and true friendship to those arround me.  I want to worry less and trust God in the microscopic details.  I want to seek out joy continually.

Yah, I'm 36. Although I've come a long way, I still have a long way to go ~

God is Present and at work!

On sunday, I shared with the Ignite Jr. High about God's Power and how to stay plugged into it. P=Pray in all circumstances, O=Obey God's Word, W=Worship Him, E=Expect Him to show up in mind blowing ways, and R=Remain in Him every day not just on sundays.

Well, one of my student's family has been having a particularly rough patch lately. They are hanging in there and trusting God through all their circumstances. But that hasn't knocked this particular 11 year old down! Just this week, she embraced the courage to invite one of her school friends to youth group on wednesday night. The kid has never been to church. He decided to go with her.......and had a BLAST! He can't wait to go again and couldn't stop talking about it all the way home.

Why do we doubt it? Why are we so afraid to step out and step up to what God puts in front of us? Maybe it's a friendship or a moment to share our faith or a situation where truth needs to be said in love. Maybe it's a supportive word or a coffee date or a service project that we just don't think we have time for. Maybe it's taking a stand for what's right or a committment to invest as much in our relationship with Christ as we invest in... (fill in the blank for whatever your thing is).

Someone reminded me recently that regardless of our circumstances, God is constantly being good. But we forget. We forget that there is this ALL POWERFUL God that wants to be working through what we think is a meager and insignificant existence sometimes.

I have plenty of moments when I feel insignificant and sorry for myself. But, for each minute you think you have nothing to give, you lose sixty seconds of giving. For every hour you feel sorry for yourself, you lose sixty minutes to comfort another. For every day you wait to get going in the ministry to which God has called you, you lose twenty-four hours to bless the world.

I am challenged by one 11 year old this week to put feet to my faith and action to my words. I want to tap completely into the POWER that is waiting for me to embrace. I want to use my imperfect self to encourage and embrace those around me. I want to be humble in every success and failure by always pointing to the One that saved my life.

Catch up in Fast Forward!

Today is Jan 1, 2012. Since I haven't blogged in over 4 months here's a short review.

In September, the kids started school. Mikayla is in the 6th grade this year, Jordan is in the 4th and Isabella is in the 2nd. All are doing a great job and thriving in their studies.

I also went back to school. We were overjoyed to find out early in August that I had been accepted to Pacific Lutheran University's School of Nursing. Being a Lute has been a wonderful experience so far! And I'm already done with my first semester. Only 2 1/2 more years left~


October and November were full of opportunities to help out in the kids classes at school. I am so thankful that they actually want me around them and their friends. Greg and I have also continued serving as the Ignite Jr High Leaders at our church. We are so blessed by the students and their families. We did some serve projects in October, Uturns are always a blast, and we did some caroling in December.

Our family got to enjoy some great camping trips in September and Greg has been trying to convince me to go as recently as last week. That man LOVES to camp!

December has once again been a wonderful month of holiday traditions, old and new.

This year was the first year we got to go to Journey to Bethlehem. Well, we were all supposed to go and then Jordan got sick. So, it ended up being a daddy/daughter date. They absolutely LOVED it and we can't wait to go all together next year.

The Christmas Tea is something that Mikayla and I have done together for 4 years now. Isabella will FINALLY be old enough to join us next year and she can't wait to be a part of the tradition. It was wonderful as always.

Grandma was in the Singing Christmas Tree this year so that became a new tradition for us as well.

Gingerbread Houses is another favorite for our three kiddos. This year we could tell they are definitely getting older as they really put some thought into those houses!





Ever since the kids were born, Greg has read Twas the Night Before Christmas to them on Christmas Eve right before bed. He loves it and so do they.

And of course, Christmas morning! Jordan's big thing this year was LEGO Rock Band for the Wii. The boy was overjoyed. In fact, all three were as they screamed for over a minute when the gift was opened. Mikayla got her electric scooter that she was hoping for. And Isabella loved her Squinky playhouse.

YEP! Right up and down the hallway she went! There was no waiting for the rain to stop!!

So, that brings us to today. NEW YEARS DAY~2012! Pictures, and taking short trips down memory lane, can be fun. But, they are merely snapshots of moments that existed amidst many others. Some good and some challenging! God has met with me at the peak of the mountain at times, and at others, he has reached out to gently pull me up again. I have seen and experienced losses of great magnitude in my life and others during 2011. I have wittnessed God's hand at work in the honest conversations of real people. I have let tears fall and held the hand of the frail. I have been reminded often that I am a work in progress.

My God is Faithful. Life is precious. I am but a servant of the Most High King. God has shown his favor over me. I am married to the most AMAZING man I've ever known and I love him with all my heart. I have been blessed with three INCREDIBLE children whom I also love with all my heart. I have breath today and for that, I am thankful.

Happy New Year!