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God is good. Greg and I have been priviledged to spend the last 16 years growing our marriage and our family. Mikayla is our oldest child, Jordan is next, and Isabella is our third. We hope you enjoy reading about our journey of Faith, Family & Fun!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Defeat or Victory? What's in a year??

Whew!  We made it.  Another year is over.  I'd love to say this year has been all roses and chocolate but it hasn't.  This year has been a tough one in many ways for me.  As I looked back over it, I found myself going YIKES!  Someone stopped me at church a month ago and asked if I was o.k.  They said I just wasn't my usual bubbly self.  I had to admit it was true.  This last year has definitely altered me.  Without getting into details that are not necessary, let's just say my spirit was broken this last year.  Sounds kind of defeating huh!  But don't stop reading, because it get's better.
You see, God has told me that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.  I have clung to that promise this year.  I have trusted God to hold me by the hand and lead me when it was so dark I couldn't see the step in front of me.  I have leaned on Him to be the strength I needed to get from moment to moment.
You've read in my blogs before how life is a process and I haven't quite arrived yet.  Well this year I just wanted to tuck my tail between my legs and turn and run for the hills.  I didn't want to grow.  It hurt too much at times.  I didn't want to be refined because the fire was very very hot this year.  For the first time in my life, I didn't want to open my heart to anyone or anything else because the sorrow of being beat down emotionally was really taking its toll.
However, God tells me that there is a season for everything.  It's not all supposed to be roses and chocolate all the time.  I'll tell ya though, this season has definitely made His goodness so much sweeter.  Relying on him to see the sunrise each morning and be grateful for whatever He chooses for me that day has given me such renewed perspective.  I had to laugh when it was the comment of one of my patients that reminded me how the beauty around us can be blinding if we just stop for a moment and take it all in.
I had the privilege of hearing some amazing guest pastors in the month of December and they were God's whispering to my soul each week.  On one particular week, I was reminded that we have the power to choose what we remember.  We either remember the hurt and the defeating moments or we dwell on the miracles and victories and the moments when God showed himself completely faithful!
I've had moments and emotions that cover the gamet of this last year from both extremes.  But in the end I consider 2012 a complete victory.
This year began with the privilege of finishing out a 17 month stint volunteering with the youth at our church.  What amazing young people.  If any of you are reading this, please know that God used all of you to fill Greg and my lives with such joy!  You are all amazing and we know that God is going to continue to mold and shape you into the masterpieces He intends for you to be.  We continually pray for you!
Greg continues to be the ROCK STAR husband and dad that he is!  I am constantly in awe of his small acts of love.  He is always picking up the slack and this year we have grown closer than ever as we have sought God's face and direction during difficult times.
My amazing children continue to light up my life.  They are growing by leaps and bounds and getting very smart.  They challenge me daily and get about a third of the credit for these sneaky silver highlights that seem to be appearing on my head!
PLU has continued to rock my world as well! Nursing remains a passion and each semester I am humbled by the responsibility and privilege of taking care of others.  It gets the other 2/3 of the credit for those silver highlights!!
We all have our stuff that filled this last year and challenged us greatly.  But, God is good.  While there were moments to mourn over or be discouraged by, hopefully, there is much more to celebrate.  What will you remember?  What will you take with you into 2013?  I pray that as you look back over the last year, God overwhelms your heart with his handprint all over your life.
Happy New Year and may the peace of God be an umbrella over you this year.

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