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God is good. Greg and I have been priviledged to spend the last 16 years growing our marriage and our family. Mikayla is our oldest child, Jordan is next, and Isabella is our third. We hope you enjoy reading about our journey of Faith, Family & Fun!

Friday, October 16, 2009

So Very Hard

You just don't know how hard it is for me to write this tonight. I am on a women's ministry team and we set up tonight for a brunch that we will be doing in the morning. I will be a host of a game show and we got to practice tonight during set up. Everything went wrong. I lost my note cards with all the questions on them, there was a power surge that blew out the projector, and the interruptions just kept on coming.

I don't FEEL like doing this tomorrow. I don't know what to expect or even if the projector will be working so that we can do it. After all that craziness, I came home and my kids just weren't listening. They ended up having mommy explode at them about disobedience and then go to bed.

So where do I go from here? Where do I pick up from? Obedience.....don't I struggle with that a lot where my walk with God is concerned? But he doesn't explode on me. He patiently waits for me to return to Him and he lovingly embraces me every time that I do. He also doesn't tell me to be obedient because I FEEL like it. He expects me to be obedient because I love Him.

"It is what it is" is a saying that I have seen on a lot of stuff lately. But really, it is what it is. I have a friend that was just talking to me about circumstances this week. I had this cute saying on my blog a few days ago about not letting your circumstances define you and how you FEEL. Then she said that she was challenged in her devotionals to be content in whatever circumstances she was faced with. She followed that up by sharing how it's really about the heart and not the circumstances at all.

Well, I am not going to dwell on my circumstances. I am not going to sweat the details. I am going to trust God to work it all out and bless all the effort that is being put forth. I hope that I don't ever stop trying to be better. I hope that I always strive to do my best. But I also hope to continue to be molded into a person that can accept what is going on around me and make the best out of it at all times.

Yes....I will be kissing my babies again before I go to bed tonight and I do thank God that they won't remember every time their mom failed. And yes....I will be there tomorrow with a renewed sense of the love that I have for these women and why I do it to begin with. And yes.....I would love your prayers. Not for me, but for the women whom God is preparing for such a time as this tomorrow morning.



The Finnestad Family said...

Now that's funny...actually, that's God. You & I are simultaneously blogging about completely different struggles and yet God is speaking to us with the same loud & clear message - It is What it Is...and God is Enough.

Praying He will fill you tonight and throughout your weekend. For clear perspective, for his Grace and peace to cover you and for you to rest in the fact that God is Enough. I love you Stephanie!

The Finnestad Family said...

I just realized how bad it sounded to start my comment with "now that's funny" when you're sharing your heart about such a tough night. I'm sorry!

That aside, I can't stop singing this song and recalling these verses from Lamentations 3:22-26 as I pray for you "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Missy said...

The enemy is always trying to throw things in our path to keep us from being successful at glorifying God. Keep in mind, that is all it is. The enemy will not win in the end and if we stay true in our faith to our Maker, then we will win.

I also wanted to say, that with or without a game, I will surely be very thankful and blessed by tomorrow's brunch. I am more then happy to just sit, enjoy some great food, be kid free for a couple of hours and have some womanly fellowship.


It will all work out.

Sarah said...

Sorry, Stephanie! I know the feeling your feeling... it happens to all of us sometimes, and it sucks. I'm sure you rocked the game this morning, anyway! With God on your side, you can make anything work! Your thoughts about your reaction to your circumstances were very encouraging. :)

the fortenberrys said...

As I was reading this, I thought, "No God doesn't explode on us." He is a wonderfully patient Daddy. When I feel like I haven't got all this figured out or I have moments when I just can't do it alone, I rest in knowing that God is actually carrying me the entire way. You already know this though. Maybe we have moments like this just to remind us we aren't perfect and we DO need him. And you are a great mom!

Michelle said...

I just read your blog, and your brunch is already over. But, I know that God is faithful and has already answered my belated prayers!! I know He fulfilled His purposes yesterday! And, your kids are so lucky to have a mom who loves them dearly!

Do you read Robyn Buhl's blog? She also talked about "It is what it is" in her post on Friday!! God's up to something!